I never thought for the life of me 40 would be so draining. Being almost middle-aged I have been raising children since I was 22 years old. Guess what, I am still raising children, three decades of child-rearing can put a girl’s head in a different place. Thank God my first two children are responsible because I am not raising my grandbabies just rearing my spawn at this point.

Figuring out how to get to the root of my beauty has always been a struggle. When I look at myself I see mom, and nana, not a woman and wife. My flaws are overwhelmingly visible because I am extremely over-critical of myself. I would venture to say at this point, my view of my sensuality has completely disintegrated. I knew I needed something anything to bring me back. Something to jumpstart some sexy in myself and my marriage.

Years ago a close friend did Boudoir photos she shared them with us. All I could think was how beautiful they were. My mind said I could never do that. I could always see my friend as sensuous. It was her attitude, her undercurrent of confidence, and her sense of self, I never thought I had that. I always said sexy pictures were not for me. In the light of feeling really, raggedy lately, and plumb mommied out, I decided that tasteful raunchiness might elevate my sense of womanhood.

I called my girlfriend Melodee, Joye of Beauty, and set up a date. She connected me with a photographer, Jaide, photographybyjaide, and the fun and games began from there. The experience was special, warm, and so positive. The photography session was a necessary tool to put in my confidence drawer.

Decisions, decisions, decisions I bought too many outfits. I never wear lingerie so I did not know how to expect it to fit. So we spent some time reviewing what I had bought with me and decided on 3 main outfits and some accessories. Then the shoot began. The modest aspect went out the window as the shutter clicked. It was just amazing how much you can let loose around other women who affirm your beauty. I have to say every mommy needs to Bou-Do.

So if and when you Boudoir let me give you some Bou-Do’s and Bou-Don’ts 

  1. Do it for you, not for your spouse/partner. Not every spouse will appreciate the gesture. Most will but don’t rest your feelings on that 
  2. Upgrade lingerie. I feel like I could have done better picking out my wardrobe except I am incredibly cheap. Pay the extra and you will get a better photographic product.  
  3. Shoes are important they can make or break your photo. If you don’t do shoes pedicures are necessary.
  4. Jewelry and accessories set off the look in a whole different way. Take some risk get naked under the shawl.   
  5. Decide your color scheme early and plan your comforter interior accessories if you want to do the shoot at home or in a hotel. There are all things an experienced photographer will tell you.
  6. Take a friend. This provides a nice safety net and a cheerleader. If you are shy, you might benefit from this.   
  7. If you have body jewelry wear it, nose rings, belly button piercings, and moisturize your body art as well as the rest of your body.  
  8. A professional makeup artist is also strongly suggested, but not necessary if you want a natural look, real talk makeup makes everyone look better.  
  9. Libations make things better. Wine or ale before the shoot will help liven the conversation and relax your anxiety.  
  10. Don’t keep all of them to yourself. Girlfriends are so supportive share some with your friends if you are not comfortable with the internet then get prints that are not too risque and keep them to show your girls. You will inspire them to look at what it did for me.  

When you are trying to get your sexy back or you never had it Boudoir with Jaide and Melodee. Oh and hair color by my boo MonteSoulage but they are mine you cannot have him (He spoils me will only do it for me.) Tell them Richmond Housewives in the City sent you.